How to Grow Your Self-Esteem

Who do you think you are? You may have heard these words spoken to you at some point in your life. Many of us grew up in environments in which we were criticized, judged, or picked on. Perhaps someone expected you to be “perfect” or questioned why you could not be more like your sister or brother. You may have been criticized for just being yourself or for being overly ambitious with big dreams. Overtime, self-doubt takes root and you start to question your abilities and decisions. You wonder what other people will think. Even when you’ve found the courage or learned the skills to do what you want, somehow you continue to be haunted by whether you’re doing the right things. This self-doubt has held so many people back from living life on their terms.

Here are a few ways to grow your self-esteem

1.     Be kind to yourself

You have come so far! You have overcome so much. Life has given you enough blows. This is your time. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself credit for the things you do well, and you know what they are. Write them down. Accept that your weaknesses, mistakes and “failures” are an integral part of the learning process called life. They are by no means a reflection of you. They are opportunities to grow. Do not take them personal. Know the things that you are good at, and what you would like to change about yourself. Be proud of your strengths and work to fix the areas you think you need growth in. It’s just that simple.

2.     Be a source of inspiration to others

Too many people need motivation and inspiration. Be a source of hope. You can improve your self-esteem considerably by just being there for your friend and lending her a listening ear. Be available for the people who look up to you. Do something nice for someone else. The feeling of helping others is priceless. When you do whatever you can to make others happy, you too will feel good about yourself.

3.     Pursue your passion

Write down all the things that you are passionate about, from the time you were a little girl. What are you passionate about? What do you dream of doing? Where do you see yourself at 65 when you retire? What are you doing? When you have determined what you want, take the very first step to set those desires in motion so that you can feel like you are adding meaning and value to your life. This process will require that you learn new things and that put yourself in a circle of people who can help you grow. Nothing succeeds like success. The more you learn, the more you know, and the more confident you get. If you need clarity on what to do or want to work with me personally, reach out to me at I’m building a team of passionate women who are changing their stories. We would be happy to welcome you to the tribe!

You know there are so many adults today - even in their golden years – who are still struggling with themselves. They have never really grown out of those deep-seated issues they experienced as children. This is terrible because how we see ourselves affects every area of lives, especially our relationships. My hope is that we will all begin to peel back the layers and see ourselves in new ways...


© 2020 by Dr. Nicoline Ambe

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